Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Simple Exercise in Understanding Futility

Here's a good one. Put on your best pair of running shoes and call up a friend, tell him that you want to go running together. Make sure that you choose someone who is either as fast or slightly faster than you, or at least one who has more endurance than you do. This is really important. Now, while your friend is on his way over to your house, get on our computer and print out the word "PROBLEMS" on one of those iron-on t-shirt sheets. Think of your least favorite color and apply the "PROBLEMS" to a t-shirt of that color. I'm color blind so I'm not actually sure what color I'd pick. Oh yeah, make sure you find out your friend's shirt size first, almost forgot about that part. Anyhow, when he gets there you should decide on a path, hand him the shirt you've just made and ask him politely to change into it, and explain that while running you are constantly going to be running away from him. Your goal is to actually run so far away that you can't find each other. Here's what's gong to happen; As hard as you try to get away, he's either going to be right next to you or right behind you. You'll be out of breath while you're buddy on the other hand will probably have a smile on his face and talk about the "great cardio" you're getting. It'll be easier for him to keep up with you than you think. In the off chance that you actually are able to outrun him though, which you shouldn't because of the superior physical abilities of your running partner, don't be too proud of yourself. I'm quite sure that once you return home your "PROBLEMS" will be waiting on your doorstep, slightly annoyed but still looking to grab a beer.

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